Unity Over Comfort: Thoughts on the Black Lives Matter Movement

“Things are not getting worse. They are getting uncovered. We must hold each other tight as we continue to pull back the veil”. – Adrienne Maree Brown

One of the 35th President’s of the United States, John F. Kennedy, main sayings was based upon an interpretation of Dante Alighieri’s poem titled Inferno. As his brother Robert F. Kennedy explained in 1964, “President Kennedy’s favourite quote was really from Dante, “The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of moral crisis preserve their neutrality”.

Within the last couple of weeks, we have seen a drastic spike in the global conscious awareness of police brutality, systemic and institutional oppression, White privilege and most importantly, racism. The mobilisation of the Black Lives Matter movement has never spread so effectively, nor has the conversation been so widely discussed amongst the general public. For the first time in centuries, the dialogue surrounding these topics are being highly mobilised to the point where Juneteenth is being considered to be a national holiday, new laws have been created and named after police brutality victims, countless artists have released songs to raise awareness and so, now what?

We’ve done our stories, posted the black squares and Martin Luther King quotes, but this movement isn’t just some trend. Black lives exist and matter outside of hashtags. We are here now, but who will stay till the end? When the hashtags no longer trend and the hype subsides, will you still be as outraged and demonstrate a willingness to learn? Will we continue to be anti-racist in a society that has spent centuries becoming accustomed to being so?

As someone who has more or less always been aware of police brutality in America (I even wrote a blog post about it in 2016) alongside the birth of the Black Lives Matter movement following the senseless killing of Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin, I was outraged as well as felt an extreme sense of hopelessness. I had seen Floyd’s death without watching it, I watched it countless times before, with the deaths of others, too many to name. I was struck by the similarity of Floyd’s death and Eric Garner’s before him, both uttering the same breathless last words, “I can’t breathe”.

I have a Black younger brother, and my fear for him grows with each birthday. I have been reporting on the link between structural racism and toxic stress and the high rates of death for Black mothers and children for three years. I’ve been truly devastated by the reports about how many Black people are dying from COVID-19 as well as police brutality.

With this sudden awareness of continuous injustice towards BIPOC within ALL areas of life, from medical racism, whitewashed history, down to the wedding industry, it’s almost frightening to see how complacent and blissfully unaware (predominately) White people have been towards these problems. This is far more than just “Some guy getting shot” and other racist arguments that tend to get put forward, this is about unveiling many underlining issues within society. But in order to be a real ally that advocates for change, there are a few things that need to be understood.

First of all, as mentioned, this is merely the surface. Be prepared to feel the tiredness, dread, and a lack of hope at a system that takes one step forward and five steps back. There will be more names and it will shock you how quickly more bodies are added to the pile and how corrupt officials will behave. You will grow weary and your souls will tire from what seems like never-ending travesties and exploitation. I want to ask if you are ready. Ready to have continuous uncomfortable conversations with co-workers, with family members, and with friends.Irish-Nigerian writer and PhD researcher Emma Dabiri made a very informative thread on her Instagram titled “Notes on Allyship and Coalition“, specifically catered to those with White and White-passing privilege in order to help ensure that the anti-racist momentum continues beyond quarantine. I’m going to take sections of that thread, re-write some of it and post them below. But please do continue to do your own research as there are plenty of resources out there for you to educate yourself on the issue

STOP DENYING THE EXISTENCE OF RACISM.

A lot of people do this. Not only do they deny racism in modern day society altogether, but they also deny that any form of racism exists within them by vehemently refusing to accept that the world has forced us to see race through a certain lens of supremacy for centuries that no one is immune to. White supremacy isn’t an abstract concept coined by the Left in an ever-evolving society, nor is it a political issue that we must ‘sympathise’ with. It is a very much real yet damaging humanitarian issue that we must interrogate and dismantle immediately. It’s a privilege in itself to learn about these experiences rather than having to go through them yourself. 

SPEAK OUT WHEN YOU HEAR RACISM. CHALLENGE IT.

This might be difficult because a lot of these racist “jokes” are used an excuse to project offensive and outdated stereotypes that most people feel like they have outgrown. Unless you’re a Ben Shapiro listener or you still watch Filthy Frank. Either way, it’s 2020 and even KSI doesn’t let his fans use racial slurs anymore. I’m just referencing controversial YouTubers now. Bottom line, don’t place the burden on Black and ethnic minorities alike to call out racism. It’s selfish and extremely draining, this is just as much YOUR responsibility as it is theirs. 

ABANDON WHITE GUILT.

YOU ARE NOT PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOUR ANCESTORS DID. WE KNOW THAT, OBVIOUSLY. Okay, glad we got that out of the way. However, you are responsible for what YOU and your White counterparts do from this point onward. You are responsible for uncritically accepting all of the advantages accrued to you by virtue of their wealth acquisition, land ownership etc. Oh yeah, and the entire creation story that justifies it. In conclusion, KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT! Keep signing petitions, spreading awareness, contacting local MP’s, staying informed, listening to Black academics/authors/people and understand their experiences, watch documentaries, utilise resources and remain educated. We’ve got this.

BLACK LIVES MATTER.

The Game: a conversation in lockdown

My 4/20 took a turn for the better when I received a DM from Jayceon Terrell Taylor aka, The Game. With this in mind, I decided to turn it into an interview. He was cool about it.

This feels quite surreal to write out, these words may not properly reflect the reality of how I’m feeling about this particular interview, so apologies in advance if this reads awfully (it will). When I first begun to fully pursue journalism as a career around two years ago, I never thought that I’d come across the people that I have, or been in the rooms that I’ve been in; not a flex, just a real and honest reflection of how far I’ve come throughout the years. So, no matter the popularity of the individual, I’ve always been immensely proud of the work that I have produced despite the amount of times that I’ve been rejected, dismissed or undermined.

Journalism has allowed me to explore all territories of music and speak to artists of any genre, from mainstream American acts like Sabrina Carpenter (pending), Madison Beer; Blackbear; Chantel Jeffries; Charlotte Lawrence to the more urban UK scene with Hardy Caprio, Bru-C and Kojo Funds. I have even spoken to Disney actors that I grew up watching, such as Bailee Madison (Wizards of Waverley Place, Bridge to Terabithia) and Alyson Stoner (Camp Rock, Phineas and Ferb, Suite Life of Zack and Cody) as well as an array of Indie artists too, like Mac Demarco; Girl In Red; Two Door Cinema Club and Charli XCX…you get the gist. What I’m mostly trying to say, is that journalism has taken me far and wide and so for that, I couldn’t be more thankful.

However, for a lack of better words; The Game is different gravy. He’s the Compton-raised, Dr Dre and Jay-Z mentored, raucous voiced, mesomorphic rap icon of the 00’s who embodies NW mother-effing A. Along with a golden discography featuring a long list of legendary collaborations of artists under his belt that are both old school and current; the entire ordeal is beyond comprehension.

Even the approach to this encounter differed from the usual, there were no managers, PR’s, no editors or any publicists- it was just The Game and myself on a sunny 4/20 with nothing but a screen between us. So for that reason, this interview will be as informal as the circumstances in which it stationed. I simply asked whether I could question him on anything that came to my head, to which he responded “Shoot 🙏🏾”. So without further ado, because honestly he needs no formal introduction- here is a painfully simple Q&A with the man himself, by me.

In the entertainment industry or life in general, do you feel it is more important to be liked or respected?

It’s far more important to be respected.

In your honest opinion, what is the meaning of a “good life”?

A life that is lived without fear.

Speaking of fear, we’re living amongst some pretty scary times right now. Has this time of social distancing taught you anything? How have you found it?

This has always been my normal life. I’m usually keeping me to myself and out of the way.

Always?

Ever since I was a child.

Who do you think is changing the landscape of rap music at the moment?

I think Future is responsible for what music has become in current day hip- hop.

What do you think of the way that rap is redefining its genre and shifting sonically?

I appreciate hip-hop in all facets. Whatever it recreates itself as every 5-10 years is appreciated. What I love the most about it, is that it keeps young African-American men with a source of income.

Which feature of yours are you most proud of?

Mary J. Blige on the Love It or Hate It remix! Goes hard.

Which song of yours means the most to you and why?

Like Father Like Son, I wrote it while my son was being born.

If you could only give one piece of crucial advice to your children, what would you tell them?

Don’t trust a soul.

That pretty brutal advice. Not even immediate family?

A soul. Family is sometimes your worst enemy.

Damn. You were famously in a coma for around three days, most people claim that once they got close to death’s doors they saw a bright light. Did you have the same experience?

Naw… it was just like an extended dream and I don’t quite remember what the dream entailed. Random, I guess!

What have you found to be the most fulfilling part of your career as a rapper?

That I’ve gotten to work with everyone that I have ever wanted to, I think.

Just because the people are asking…how’d you get them eyes?

Girl…[laughs]. From my grandmother. All love.

 

STREAM ‘BORN 2 RAP’ ON ALL PLATFORMS.

How a global pandemic affected my mental health

Calm in Chaos: a general rambling post from me amongst the uncertain times which are COVID-19 and how I generally stay sane when it feels like the world is ending.

As I’m writing this, I can hear at least three different species of birds chirping, couples laughing and friends gathered together basking the glory of the sudden sunshine. Despite this, the context shows an entirely different tone. It’s March of 2020 and the world is in an incredibly strange state right now, just two nights ago Boris Johnson had announced that the United Kingdom was officially going into lockdown for the next couple of months, which basically means that everyone needs to self-isolate and remain in quarantine apart from “essential” workers. Understandably, everyone is freaking the fuck out. With thousands of events getting cancelled like weddings, holidays, festivals and even educational institutions having to shut which means exams have been cancelled for the time being and teaching has been transferred online. Right now, we really are living in the midst of a historic moment which will affect millions of people across the world. A real dystopian Black Mirror episode, if you will.

Despite this, this is the happiest I have felt in months. I know, I’m not making the best impression so far. I’m sat in a large nature park right now where other people are when I’m meant to be isolating (Sorry, dad) and I just said that a massive pandemic is making me happy. Well, allow me to justify. I use the term “happy” very loosely here. I know 2020 has been shit show from the get go; from shock deaths (RIP Kobe and Brianna Bryant), floods, wildfires, potential world wars, nation-wide drought, Brexit (which commenced on my birthday for fuck sake), climate change acceleration and now an international pandemic. And it’s ONLY March. I can understand why you’d read my naïve indifference as arrogant.

It feels like everywhere you turn, there’s bad news after bad news. Like, not to be dramatic, but life is feeling a lot like that time Edward broke up with Bella in Twilight and Stephenie Meyer made all the chapters during the break up empty pages with just “September.” “October.” “November.” written at the top. All of the days are blurring into one and are filled with uncertainty. Every social media platform that you log into, including Instagram which is usually a form of escapism, are only constant reminders of the virus as well as productive things we’re meant to be doing throughout this period of isolation, even though I’m fully aware that I’m meant to be chasing a degree (I know, what the fuck) while constant stats remind us about how deadly and scary this virus is. It truly is overwhelming and I do not blame anybody for feeling especially scared and anxious in this time.

I rarely get personal on this blog, despite the fact that it IS my personal blog. I’m usually quite general, but I’m going to share how I’ve personally felt the calm in all of this. I mean, I speak from a place of general privilege. I’m not exactly calm about the death, collective grief, global poverty, deadly exploitation of working-class people of colour, financial ruin and ever-callous leadership that sets the scene for this time. Furthermore, circumstances for a lot of people are desperate and financially there’s bound to be some kind of crash, I understand that this is a scary time for us all. Yet, for some reason, I find the collective feeling of worry, the resentment of this current year, holding billionaires and the 1% to account for their greedy money hoarding as well as everybody’s combined efforts in improving our circumstances to be extremely reassuring of humanity. Even the NHS has had over 400,000 people offer to volunteer to help those directly infected by the virus when the government were merely expecting half of that. That’s something to celebrate within itself.

Overall, my person issues pale in comparison to refugees and more vulnerable groups who are far a lot affected by this this virus than me personally. This isn’t ideal for anybody. However, if I’m too think in a way that makes the glass appear half full- I’d talk about the environmental impacts, for example; did you know that air quality has improved significantly in major cities since tourists have stopped occupying them? And think of all the free concerts all of your favourite artists have intimately live-streaming!! From Chris Martin of Coldplay, John Legend, James Blake. Miley Cyrus has started a cute livestream platform where she interviews celebrities and medical professionals on remaining positive while being aware of your surroundings. The sheer quality of MEMES that have come out of this are…incredible. And lastly, the newfound respect the general public now have for service workers and our community.

Apologies if this blog post seems lazy compared to my usual work, I’m still adjusting. I know this is hard, I’m scared too. I’ll probably add more positive outcomes and more informed updates of this in due time. But for now, I know it’s easier said than done- but do try to make the most of this time of peace and quiet. Get creative, contact people you’ve grown distant from due to busy schedules. Whatever you want. There’s bound to be some form of humanity to come out of this and it’ll be beautiful. We can’t see it now but we will. There’s no telling what’s ahead but I do truly believe that in spite of everything, we’ve got this. Look after yourself reader.

Hardy Caprio: an interview

I spoke to grime sensation Hardy Caprio ahead of his album release where we discuss exceeding expectations, giving back and taking over the world.

A few years ago, a video was released of a fresh-faced, admittedly “broke” and “dead trim” Hardy Caprio in a car park with friends rapping his first Hollywood H freestyle. A young Hardy spits, “I do grime, do rap, do ends, do uni and when I’m back in Croydon I’m making a movie”. Little did he know that this eventually would lead on to become the catalyst into revealing his full potential. Between studying full-time and grinding towards his dreams, Hardy knew that his route was unconventional compared to his contemporaries, yet the South London didn’t let the naysayers define his future and is continuously looking to push that for himself.

Now, ready more than ever to drop his debut mixtape in the new year, Hardy is coming in with teeth. Having already dropped infectious summer Afrobeat swing of tracks like “Something New” and “Drop Top” with T Mulla, these pre-release collaborations show Hardy as one of the breakout stars of a hyper-fertile period for homegrown, authentic UK grime. Proclaiming the close of 2019 and 2020, as “The years of Hardy”- his vision as to what he wants is as clear as ever. To show our excitement, we spoke to the grime star ahead of his album release about taking over the world, being straightforward, giving back and exceeding expectations.

If there’s one thing you would like people to understand about you, what would that be?
That I’m always going to be myself, unapologetically.

Songs that best describe your life and journey.
Kelis and Andre 300 ‘Millionaire’ and my song ‘Wifey Riddum’.

Most significant lesson you have learnt since entering the music industry?
It’s best to make your own mistakes because no one is going to earn the ramifications for you.

Unsigned was basically your breakthrough record- did you know that as you were creating it?
Yeah! It was either going to be my breakthrough or not, we thought that if this one wouldn’t work then we have no idea what will. We tried our best to make it the perfect three-minute song; from the beat to the lyrics and how they’re being said. We put all our bets on it.

hardy

What’s your usual thought process when creating new music?
It depends what we’re trying to get out of it. For now, it’s more about how it feels, but in general moments where there are moments as an artist where you have to prove yourself and take it further. I’ve consciously said to myself, “Yeah, you need to take it to the brim with this song”.

You recently stated that there is no such thing as the perfect rapper. Do you set the same standard for yourself or are you your own worst critic?
I am my own worst critic but at the same time I am also my own biggest fan. I say stuff that I want to hear from rappers. As a rap fan, I’ve heard a lot of things being said and overtime it all sounds the same. So when it was time for me to rap, I wanted to say and hear something different. I want new stuff, new imagery, new slang, everything! I mean, I like my stuff [laughs] you just need to be the best version of yourself, I know it sounds cliché but that’s all it is.

Have you ever had a moment of major doubt within yourself? You’ve spoken a lot about people not believing in you- how do you usually work to get over it?
It’s more THEM, it’s a ‘them’ problem and not a ‘me’ problem. If I had a problem, then I would crumble much earlier, I believe in myself. I believe I can do it, so there’s nothing that anyone can tell me, to be honest. If I can’t do something, I’m going to learn how to do it, and do you know what? I’ve done that time and time again, so I feel like I just need to make music for me at this point. Every criticism I’ve heard is so silent right now, but I just want to say to them, “Thank you very much”.

Going to university and graduating with a degree in accountancy is quite contrasting to being a rapper, and having such an unconventional route to success compared to other rappers must be quite isolating. Do you ever find it to be a challenge?
Within myself, I know that it is not a hindrance. The people that see it as a problem don’t even matter, I don’t care about them. If you have an issue with it, then you’re not even in the real world. I think people attribute rap music to struggle, violence and other negative stuff, and so to think that I haven’t seen any of that because I’ve been to university then you’re one of the dumbest people in the world. It can be seen as a challenge but I don’t see it as that- it’s just my story. If you want to hear the same story over and over, then I’m probably not the guy for you.

What was it like generally balancing both university and your side rap hustle?
When I look back on it, I didn’t think it was the hardest thing in the world. I’m a workaholic though, so now I look at it and I realise that it wasn’t very healthy. I would be staying up in the studio then I would go to uni without any sleep at all. At that moment, I knew that it was all what I wanted so I didn’t actively see it as an obstacle, at that time I didn’t see it as challenging.

You’re only in your early 20’s- what do you hope to achieve by the time you hit your 30’s? Is there any defining moment that will have you think, “Yeah, I’ve made it”?
I just want to take over the world [laughs]. There is not a lot to ask for, I’ve done a lot of things that I didn’t ever expect to do like doing things for my family. And now, I want to change the lives of those around me and help other people, too. Not even when I “get there”, but now I just want to be helping people because the more of us there are too lift up, the better. I want everybody to feel like they can chase what they want because some people might think that because they don’t come from a certain background that they can’t take part and it alienates them. If you know your characteristics, you can find your way.

 

 

What sobriety taught me about being a better friend

Most of the blog posts I write are heavily influenced by events that have taken place in my personal life, I would love to say that everything I write about is thoroughly and thoughtfully planned out, but the majority of the time, it isn’t.

Why do I say that? Well, the other night (I would give specifics but I’m not sure which date I will publish this on) I met up with a longtime friend of mine from secondary school, and like all Brits so typically tend to do in the evening (any time after five, most of the time) we met up at the local student bar and had a few drinks whilst catching up with one another’s lives within the last six months.

Then while sitting at this bar with said friend, I suddenly realised that it had been six months since I even had a ‘proper’ drink, and even more surprising- I hadn’t actually gotten drunk in an entire year. My last honest feeling of a pounding headache, aching stomach, sickness, embarrassment, regret, overbearing self consciousness, and overall sense of self-loathing hadn’t surfaced (least, via intoxication) in a very, very long time.

I’ve always had a decent relationship with alcohol, especially recently. In secondary school I often exaggerated how drunk I really was and never suffered from severe hangovers. I’m not sure whether it was because my tolerance was significantly higher so I was able to drink vodka like it was water, or what. But I think students can universally agree when we say that from the age of eighteen onward, usually indicates a shift in everything, and hangovers become more severe.

When I first moved to Nottingham I tried to fit into the culture by drinking everything in sight; which I did. It was bad, but only freshers week bad- I woke up with a massive receipt from Subway (yes, the sandwich place), I’d have other people’s clothes on (God knows how that happened) and at some stage I was spiked which resulted in me losing feeling in my legs for the night. I took it easy from then on onward, I mean, I got really messed up (accidentally) during a day drinking session once but that didn’t stop me.

On my 19th birthday, I got into a random mans’ car and didn’t get out of bed for over 24 hours. Then on my 20th, it was more or less the same thing. It was all okay, though. Right? I’m a young, university student, I’m British and it’s the way of life. Which is fine. But it’s about time we had an honest conversation about how alcohol really affects our mental health. In an era where drinking to excess has become heavily normalised, it can be difficult to navigate the culture; to see who is just like everyone else and who is actually struggling.

At the age of 21, I’ve come to a realisation that getting drunk casually isn’t for me. And, no. I don’t hold some sort of god complex (that’s exactly what someone with a god complex would say) and I certainly don’t look down on those that drink, at all. Especially as the summer approaches along with the alarmingly high temperature rise, causing people to crack open ‘a cold one’ before the afternoon. I can fully understand the urges. But the U.K. has a drinking problem. I don’t know anybody who doesn’t drink less than the recommended units and the shared mentality has always been “As long as no one is getting hurt then there’s no problem with it”. If alcohol were a new discovery, this wouldn’t be okay, but because this is what we have always known, heavy drinking has become glamorised and almost celebrated. Whereas drugs, understandably, are still a massive taboo. Depending on where you live.

The NHS recommendation of 14 units per week, which is about 6 pints or 7 glasses of wine. But who can keep track? Drinking is everywhere. We drink to celebrate, we drink when we are sad, we drink to relax – we drink on any occasion for any excuse. As a collective we normalise blackouts, frequent puking and humiliation. We need more awareness that alcohol affects our mental health as well as our physical health: while we may be enjoying ourselves, alcohol is also a depressant, the viscous cycle of feeling miserable and anxious was something that I personally couldn’t handle anymore.

Whenever I tell people that I once went an entire year without drinking (that’s a story for another post) it is always met with all kinds of strange reactions, as if I told them that I just won the lottery. Actually, more pitying than that. As if my dog just died. I mean, I don’t have a dog- but you get the gist. However, you never gain this sort of reaction when you tell people that you went on holiday and binged for an entire week? Last summer, I was the only one not drinking at a garden party and a girl there felt the need to tell me that staying sober was really sad and pathetic.

Look, I’m not trying to convince people to stop drinking. The total opposite, actually. However, the main point of this blog post is to explain how the idea of getting too intoxicated regularly is one that seriously needs to be looked at and re-evaluated. That we need to look at how much we consume and start being more responsible. I learnt a lot in my year of sobriety. Did I ever miss drinking? Absolutely. But I became more focused on my work and priorities, I saved money, I felt fresh everyday to the point where I just never wanted to turn back. And I felt like I was overall becoming a better version of myself. Believe me, I am far from perfect, but since leaning more towards regular sobriety I have just been happier. And as a generally rather unhappy person, I am continuously aiming towards that. It’s a peculiar feeling- like stepping from the clamour of a street riot, stepping into the house, and locking the door.

What I learnt from celebrating ‘Galentine’s Day’

The closing of a year is often lead with great anticipation. Halloween, bonfire night, Thanksgiving (for my American readers), Hanukkah, Christmas celebrations and then finally…the New Years build up. Then creeps in January, dragging its oversized shoes on the floor. January is like the Maroon 5 performing at the Super Bowl of months, despite my own birthday being during this month, I too, have to admit that it overstays it’s welcome. A guest that you were once looking forward to seeing, but is now refusing to leave.

Then, after this excruciatingly dull month of broken resolutions and “I’ll start tomorrow”-s, comes an infamously suffocating day for singles and even couples alike. Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, I love the concept of the day because it allows you to show appreciation to your significant other, plus the aesthetic of pink and red hearts everywhere may appear as obnoxious to some but I personally think they’re beautiful and uplifting. In a world that seems to forever filled with fake news and depressing headlines, then to suddenly be hit with flowers of all colours and love hearts is pretty encouraging to me. Lord knows we all need it.

But there is also a capitalist, ‘do it for the gram’ element involved which takes the real fun out of it. An haughty, pompous aspect that places couples to compare themselves to other couples. As though your relationships’ depth and meaning is measured based off of your financial income. A factor that is unfair and shallow to say the least. Personally, I’m a working-class student with low earning parents. Therefore, I don’t get any help from them. I simply rely on myself and how often I work, when I can. But with juggling a degree, a long distance relationship and other prospects; it can all get a little (VERY) strenuous. So with this continuous obligation to flex our lives on social media adds even more pressure on this particular occasion, minus the others- birthdays, Christmas etc.

In fact, just yesterday I was speaking to a work colleague who did not hesitate to tell me all about the expensive trips and gifts that her much older boyfriend so lovingly gives. Of course then, this was met with my own romance interrogation; “Where did you go?” “How much did they spend on you?” and “How much did YOU spend on THEM?” So whether you’re in a relationship or not, Valentine’s Day can be a bit of a pain. Don’t worry single people, least you can treat yourself to a cheap bottle of wine and a Netflix marathon then call it a night, it’s not as pathetic as everyone makes it out to be. I promise.

Anyhow, so due to my long-distance relationship circumstances, this year I decided to celebrate my first ever Galentine’s Day with my single friends. Because being single doesn’t mean that you’re alone, at all. This is a holiday that, among other things, highlights the political power of female friendship: Galentine’s Day. To quote main character Leslie Knope, “What’s Galentine’s Day? “Oh, it’s only the best day of the year!” So for context, back in February 2010, NBC inaugurated the holiday on its sitcom Parks and Recreation, starring Amy Poehler’s iconic character Leslie Knope, a described ‘civic crusader’ and ‘friend extraordinaire’. As Knope explains it, each year on February 13th, she gathers together all her best female friends, including her mother, to celebrate what she loves about her female companions over waffles.

However, the biggest lesson that I learnt from Galentine’s Day isn’t to only challenge hetero-normative romantic relationships and gross gender roles and forever pining over ‘the right one’ but of also finally normalising the idea that being single IS NOT something to be distracted from. As someone that is currently in a relationship, I can understand why you’re reading this whilst rolling your eyes. Or how this advice would fall on death ears. Take this with a pinch of salt if you must, but the most significant rule to remember is that you’re able to be by yourself and not hate it. I know right, wild(!) I apologise if this sounds patronising, but you’re allowed to be single on purpose and enjoy it.

Galentine’s day doesn’t have to be surrounded by the concept of filling some sort of ‘romantic void’ otherwise you’re not full. That’s a complete lie. People speak to me nowadays as if by having a boyfriend, I have been “blessed” and that I have been changed for the better. As much as I love being in a relationship, I can be strong and empowered whether I’m in one or not. Galentine’s Day is for all female-identifying folks celebrating themselves, no man-dominated underbelly included, please.

As well as this, Galentines Day should be as inclusive as we can possibly make it. Not everybody has this Sex and the City and Pretty Little Liars-esque girl group. Sometimes our closest friends live in different parts of the country and so seeing all these cliquey squads can emphasise on the loneliness. I often feel it. So another lesson I have learnt is to keep open-minded and productive when it comes to this kind of thing. Galentine’s can be a beautiful day, but always remember to show love and support for women throughout all the other days to.

💚

Erasing “toxic positivity”

“Be confused, it’s where you begin to learn to new things. Be broken, it’s where you begin to heal. Be frustrated, it’s where you start to make authentic decisions. Be sad, because if we are brave enough, we can hear our heart’s wisdom through it. Be whatever you are right now. No more hiding. You are worthy, always”.

S.C. Lourie

It’s been exactly five months since I’ve last published a blog post, which is pretty unbelievable to me! Not only have I failed to keep to my manifesto of coming up with new content every calendar month, but this realisation that five whole months have passed by is something kind of surreal altogether. Alongside the dreadful pressure of maintaining an online presence despite having no cool social life to flex, I’m also having to continuously convince you (my very limited audience) and myself that I’m vaguely fun, creative and relatable to read about. However, these feelings of doubt and inadequacy don’t need to be acknowledged or explained, only lived. So anyway, I’ve recently noticed a growing trend of people becoming overly positive. Though there is nothing wrong with seeing the glass as always half full, it can be ultimately damaging to entirely dismiss any natural emotions of anger, sadness or any feeling that isn’t completely positive. I understand the need to surround yourself with “positive vibes” which is mostly good, the majority of the time it can just come across as disingenuous and forced. So without further ado, here is an update on why I personally believe that we shouldn’t focus too much on what the chemicals in our brains are weighing and my newfound mentality of not caring. Not to seem generally insensitive towards people with genuine mental health issues of course, I couldn’t recommend therapy enough. However, this is just a personal mantra that keeps me afloat.

Okay, so I’m currently living in a house with three other girls, and in typical student-house fashion we have seen the worst and the best of each other. Emotional breakdowns over deadlines and assignments, momentary, short-lived ‘heartbreak’ over guys that won’t text us back anymore, financial restraints further exacerbated via fast fashion, year-long next day delivery and Klarna (you know, that whole ‘buy now, pay later’ deal that’s going on?) ASOS, Pretty Little Thing, Nasty Gal, Missguided- I’m looking at you, please let me live my life.

But once I came to discover that 2/3 of my housemates were on antidepressants and anxiety tablets, whilst regularly making appointments with therapists, the realisation forced me to have a serious think about my generation and our newfound outlook on mental health. Despite stigma decreasing by over 6% within the past decade, the overall outlook hasn’t REALLY changed all that much, I recall one of my housemates telling me “I just got tired of not feeling normal, I felt so embarrassed about crying all the time!”- which is of course, a very much valid emotion. But, I have to meet it with some critique.

Why has it become an embarrassment to say how we feel and why must wesolveor fix” these emotions? Throughout my time in higher education, whether that be in secondary school or university, the main lesson that I have learnt is to just tell people how you feel. The collapse of a lot of my friendships penned from being dishonest, antisocial and just an overall lack of real communication on how I feel. I’m still working on it, actually.

“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary,” observed Cecil Beaton, who was born in 1904.

For so long, I thought that the past 2-3 years had been dedicated to recovering. I fully committed myself to feeling better about things. I wanted to recover from the trauma that secondary school brought me, my home life, and other disappointments. Then I learnt that there’s absolutely no avoiding it. You can go your whole life insisting that it only gets better from here onwards, but you’ll always be faced with something new that will kick and punch you. And you’re not wrong for feeling bad about these things.

For example, when I was seventeen I went through my first brutal heartbreak. It’s never been easy for me to talk about, even today. Without going into too much detail, he was a drug addict with eyes for someone else and I was a lovesick teen with no sense of self-worth, we were only 16-17 but it had a profound experience on me as a teenager. It may not have been real for him but it certainly was for me, and it was one of the worst emotional experiences that a 17-year-old could go through. So after that, I recall thinking “Okay, I’ve experienced this thing and now it’s over” but then once I turned 18, it happened again, but with a slightly different narrative. Cheating boyfriend, not a drug addict but instead emotionally abusive; and on top of that he quickly began to hook up with my friend who I thought would never do that sort of thing, and nobody seemed to mind, either. Nobody checked in to see how I was doing. As if this was just “normal”.

Then throughout the years as I became older, things took another bad turn. I was having very bad family problems, I lost jobs, I lost friends that I thought would stick around forever, I hated my university and began doubting my place on this earth (I’m going somewhere with this, don’t worry) I knew that I wanted to be a journalist but I began to hate my course and the people in it, so I didn’t see the point anymore. I had completely lost all motivation. And I felt bad about it.

People will always tell you that you serve no purpose being sad, that it’s a major sign of weakness and that someone out there is always going through something worse- which is indeed true but that in no way should invalidate whatever it is that you’re feeling. There we are again, feelings. I used to hang on to that word by a thread, like I said earlier, there was always this belief that you would experience something tremendously bad but it was okay because it will eventually stop. One day you’ll wake up and everything will calm down a bit and be…better. Which is to some extent true, but let’s not dismiss the fact that this is real life. Bad things happen all the time, but so do the good.

I read a quote on Man Repeller once which said You’ve been around long enough to know that dark places aren’t locked rooms, but tunnels“. And that’s it, bad emotions aren’t exactly bad overall, we often treat our uncomfortable feelings and emotions as if they had no real right to exist, inconveniences to be anesthetized or bludgeoned into extinction. But emotions aren’t really the enemy. They are feedback sent from within, messages sent from our deeper self that tell us how we are doing. As such, there really are no bad feelings — only comfortable or uncomfortable ones.

I know that there is this ongoing pressure to always seem busy, I get questioned all the time on what it is I do all day. I also know that there is this urgency to escape the hardship through grit and sweat, that any form of negative emotion has to be immediately wiped or otherwise you’re a depressed failure. Like say, if you submit one exam or essay that didn’t get the best grade, then you felt like you weren’t made for academia and that you should give up wanting a degree. But that’s not the case, it took a very long time for me not to treat these emotions as a blanket diagnosis but rather a stepping stone to something else. And I like to think that being able to bare this in mind keeps me up a level. You’re not doing it wrong, sadness and frustration aren’t just the shitty parts to make the good parts feel better, but just parts — the logical means through which get through to the next one.

Maybe I’m not the best person to take emotional advice from, and within the many times in life that I’ve been wrong and have poorly misjudged a situation, I can guarantee that I’m kind of right about this one thing. Without sounding corny or tedious, you can’t appreciate a good meal without having starved (not literally, I mean don’t deliberately go hungry) and you don’t appreciate a hot shower unless you’ve been out all day and you don’t appreciate the summer without going through the miserable months of January, February and March first. There’s something amazing in just riding it out and going through it. It’s not always good, but it makes a hell of a story to tell afterwards. Life is a far more interesting that way, like literally every movie that you will ever watch will have a point where something supposedly sad happens halfway through- both the cheesy and the epic ones. So don’t feel weird for having negative emotions, do not apologise for the inconvenience and then try to immediately jump to fix them. They always say it’s better to have felt something rather than nothing at all, it gives everything substance and meaning, and isn’t that what they’re meant for anyway?

How to overcome pressure throughout summer vacation

“Depression in summer is weird. It’s not dark and brooding, for me – it’s white and hazy and confusing. You feel very absent from everyone and everything. And all the light seems a little too bright for your tired eyes.”

“I feel like a time traveller: June, July, August. Summer dissolves in my mouth and I can’t remember what it tasted like.”

-Zoë Lianne, Erasure.

As the end of the summer approaches, the strawberry moon is emerging and Mercury is in retrograde, it’s time to reflect. While most people would be feeling sad that they’re forced to return “back to reality” I personally cannot wait. The combination of extra light, 80-degree weather, and FOMO can do real damage. More damage than what most people could imagine.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is traditionally associated with the winter months, a type of depression that comes and goes with the seasons, often reaching its nadir in December and January. Which, of course, is reasonable. Some sufferers with depression, however, find the summer sun unbearable.

Like myself.

I’m not going to go into people that genuinely suffer from reverse SAD disorder because it would be rather unjust of me to speak about something that you should get actual professional help for. However, I will talk about why I hate summer. We’re currently living a weird period, as Sylvia Plath once wrote “August rain: the best of the summer gone, and the new fall not yet born. The odd uneven time.”

I know, I know. I’m going the total opposite direction of my blogs’ philosophy. So instead of talking about what I HATE (I have literally changed my mind as I’m writing this) I’m going to write about how loneliness can affect us all and how to get through the summer when you’re a little short on cash.

With social media feeling like the only safe entertainment that we can all turn to, nowadays it’s a whole lot easier to just watch what everybody else is doing and sinking into your own despair, scrolling aimlessly through your social media while staring longingly at other peoples’ deliberately calculated summer pictures. The glittering girl group festival photos, Ibiza boat party bikinis shots, poolside hotdog legs, giant inflatable unicorn floaties, awkward bopping boomerangs; but this isn’t the case for everyone.

Meanwhile, you’re getting ready for another gruelling shift at your rubbish part-time minimum wage job and you’re left to think, why is everybody having fun except for me?  

I always liked to think that once the summer came round that I would feel better, but that’s not how depression works. The sun will shine (sometimes), the birds will chirp, I’d wake up, go to my job and do what I need to do, but mentally my brain remained stagnant. This feeling wasn’t just a random Saturday occurrence in the summer. The scenario continued for days at a time almost every summer. As I started to become more aware of my body and surroundings, I realized it might not be normal.

According to the UK’s leading mental health clinic, Smart TMS there is currently no treatment for Reverse SAD, but getting some exercise (no matter how intense) and catching up on sleep are both thought to help. That’s pretty shit advice, but instead of being bitter because I wasn’t travelling around the world like all my peers appeared to be, I kept myself busy. Like I said, it really isn’t that easy, especially when you’re short on funds. However, there are some cheap alternatives in order to not be feeling like Death™ would be a cute look this summer.

At home

I understand that staying in your room all day everyday is mind numbing and overall, extremely unhealthy. If you living within a open, supportive and loving environment then here are a few ideas as to what you can do in the house.

  • Paint/redecorate your room– even if it means just changing the position of your bed, organising your closet and adding in a new rug. However this isn’t a possibility for you, you could even try grabbing a few plastic bags and throwing away old stuff that you don’t need anymore. Never underestimate the power of feng shui and the feeling of emptying out.
  • Plant trees and flowers- Okay, this may sound like granny activities to you but it’s been proven that the feeling of productivity doesn’t only help with your mental health and soothes your mind, but having plants within your space actually acts as an air purifier, through photosynthesis, they convert the carbon dioxide we exhale into fresh oxygen, and they can also remove toxins from the air we breathe.
  • Movie marathons- As someone that studies film as part of their degree, I hardly ever watch any films. If you need to escape, dive into some fantasy or keep it light-hearted with a romantic comedy if that’s how you’re feeling. I know it’s pretty obvious, but films are a great distraction from the BS that is real life.
  • Try cooking new recipes- With the Internet age, there are absolutely no excuses to not teaching yourself anything new. IT IS ALL ON THERE! Summer is the time where most kids are getting their A-Level results, so maybe learning some meals in advance before moving to an entirely different city isn’t a bad thing. Mum and dad ain’t there no more kid, welcome to survival mode. Cooking and experimenting can be really fun, anyway. You don’t always need a purpose for that kind of thing, it’s almost 2019 do what you want.
  • Decorate cupcakes or other deserts- The other day my boyfriend took me to this old market in our town where he bought the most basic cupcakes just because they made him feel nostalgic. Since then, I suggested that attempting to make bake goods could actually be a super fun and cute activity, my grandmother regularly makes Welsh cakes for the hell of it so why shouldn’t you? Or if you want to spice things up, make some weed brownies. If you’re into that.
  • Throw a party/bonfire/barbecue- I know it can feel like your friends are always too busy living their lives but I promise that they will appreciate hearing from you. Whether you’re in the UK, America, or anywhere else around the world there is one thing we all have in common; we look for any excuse to drink. So invite some friends around, crack open a cold one (Christ) as long as things don’t get too out of hand.
  • Read- Don’t have streaming sites like Netflix or NOW TV? Parents can’t afford Sky? Mine can’t either. If you ever find yourself feeling bored of watching the same programmes there are other forms of escapism and that is the wonderful world of books! If you can’t afford to keep buying books, then there are sites like Wattpad and Project Gutenberg allow you to read books online for free. Or buy them super cheap from Amazon, to be fair Waterstones do take the piss a bit.
  • Draw and paint- Even if you’re absolutely shit at it. Who cares? Paint a butterfly, paint a naked body, paint a rocket. Anything that fascinates you, go ape. Emotionally, it helps to just pour all your emotions on a canvas. Acrylics aren’t too expensive, and when you’re done you can put them up on your new bedroom wall! (refer to tip no. 1)
  • Learn a new language online- I would personally recommend this one, not only can it enhance your CV and look good to future employers, but it’s also good brain training and can benefit you in all kinds of ways in the long run. Definitely a good investment!

Outside activities

I know for some young people, staying in the house isn’t an option. Some people suffer from physical/mental/emotional abuse from their family and relatives and just need an escape route. I completely understand this; so here are some things you could do to keep busy that doesn’t involve staying in. Some outdoor activities to do if the weather isn’t utter wank where you are.

  • Hike/go for a walk
  • Have a picnic
  • Go camping
  • Learn how to drive
  • Go swimming in a lake/swimming hole
  • Work at a summer camp
  • Stargaze
  • Clean up litter at a park or river
  • Go canoeing/sailing
  • Go tubing
  • Go surfing if you live near a beach
  • Pick berries
  • Take photos of different flowers, birds, etc
  • Walk your dog/someone’s dog because dogs are great
  • Go see a movie (it’s cheaper early in the day and with your student id!)
  • Have lunch with friends
  • Visit the library (this has quite literally saved my life a few times)
  • Go to a museum
  • Check out somewhere you’ve never been
  • Take a class for fun at a community college
  • Volunteer (animal shelters, food banks, etc)
  • GET A PART-TIME JOB
  • Take a trip to a neighbouring town and explore
  • Pretend to be a tourist in your own town
  • Try a food truck
  • Go to a festival
  • Go to a drive-in/outdoor cinema
  • Get ice cream
  • Look up free events that your town hosts
  • Go to the pool

It’s not always easy to cope with the immense pressure to always seem like you’re having a good time. I know summer days can be isolating and place a real emphasis on your depression, where the days feel long and hazy as you spend everyday watching the clock while never knowing what day it actually is, feeling as though you exist in a trance of melancholy and feel detached from everything but please, hold on. Time can do some amazing things so while this period feels like it is never ending- it will, eventually. Maybe prepare for next year? ☀️🍦

                        “Summer 2018” by Allison Kerek

Why you should definitely go to a gig alone 

At least once.

Whether it’s a song, perfume, book, album, movie, television show, or underground cultural phenomenon, there are certain seemingly small things that have actually changed the course of our lives. Even if it’s minor and quite superficial through the eyes of others, if it makes you feel alive in some way then hang onto that.

This is going to sound kind of dark; but around two years ago when I was heavily suicidal, I read a post that suggested that if you feel as though you serve no purpose being alive, then stick around for the minor things. Like never being able to taste your favourite ice cream ever again, or  not being able to stroke your neighbours cute Labrador anymore, or trying the first bite of a delicious pizza, or even turning up at that event coming up that actually looked kind of cool (?).

For me, this ‘seemingly small superficial thing’ was Frank Ocean’s Blonde & Endless. If you’re under the age of 40, you’ll probably know who he is. Ocean’s lyrics deal with themes of love, longing, spiritually, misgiving, and nostalgia, all that resonated with to new extents. I won’t go into his entire discography but since his first mixtape Nostalgia, Ultra revealing his idiosyncratic approach to pop, I was hooked. Years clicked and in this super weird way, I found the wait to be part of the thrill. It was easy to worry as there are precedents for this sort of thing, for disappearances of the self-implosion of Black genius.

gig blogpost gif

But eventually, he came back. And it was amazing. This’ll seem corny but it restored my belief in the phrase “When one door closes, another one opens”. Despite going through a rough time and dealing with a lot of losses, with the thought of waiting for the new album to finally come out then having it do so gave me something to look forward to. It made me want to wait for the other little thing, then the other minor thing, then another, until I was past the rough time and wasn’t feeling so sad anymore. Through sharing the things that helped us become who we are today, hopefully it’ll  inspire you to try them out for yourselves. Anyway, aside from me basically admitting that Frank Ocean saved my life there was a point to this. What I’m saying is that the experience made me a little more introspective, thereby leading me to do a more things alone; like attending concerts.

I’m a music journalist (kind of, let me gas myself), so whenever a concert is in my town and I’m interested in the performer, I ask a publication to contact the PR team then I get in for free. Back in November, I went to see Mac Demarco in Rock City, Nottingham. I reviewed the show and even made friends with a girl that was friendly with the supporting band leading in me meeting Mac after the show- you can read the interview/review here. Plus, as sad as it sounds, I actually like being alone. I’m virtually always by myself, I go shopping alone, I go to my lectures alone, hell, I’ve even travelled around some areas around Europe alone when I finished high school. And I’ve become quite an evangelist about it.

But no matter what, I believe that everyone who can safely go to a show alone absolutely should, especially if it’s for a band you really love. Why? Music is evocative and emotional, and I’ve previously explained, it is extremely significant for ones well-being. Sometimes, by going to a gig or concert by yourself it’s easier to not have to explain everything to someone else. You have the right to dance, sing along or even cry at when you want to without worrying about the people with you, and you should get to experience that at a show without worrying about what anyone else’s experience looks or feels like. And this isn’t to say you shouldn’t share these experiences with your loved ones, but it is to say that YOUR experience should not be dependent on theirs.

On the night I went to see Mac Demarco, I learnt a lot in the space of a couple of hours. If you’re nervous about going alone or you feel sort of weird about it, that’s fine. It’s totally normal, actually. The main thing to remember is that doing anything outside of your comfort zone is bound to feel uncomfortable at first. But that’s how you grow. Obviously, if you feel truly scared to go to a show by yourself, or your gut senses something weird, then don’t. Or maybe find another show that you’d feel comfortable going to. The whole ordeal is going to look different for everyone. So, if you have ever been really keen to see someone live but none of your friends are down for it; here are some tips I’ve learnt about going to a gig or concert alone.

  • Turn up early, it’s kind of boring and maybe a little cold at first, but eventually people will turn up and maybe you’ll even get an opportunity to meet the artist! Weirdly for me, not only did Mac go out for a cigarette but he also got locked out the venue- so I  had a small opportunity to speak with him prior. Plus, you’ll be right at the front. Which is always great.
  • Speaking of people, even when you’re bored you can still find something to occupy with other than just staring down at your phone and refreshing snapchat. Interact with the crowd so that you feel more apart of it, additionally, you may get lucky- it’s how I met Mac.
  • Check out the location beforehand and let someone know you’re going to the function. If you’re going to a sketchy area, consider having an Uber drop you off so you don’t have to walk alone.
  • Speaking of which, I know this is a dark example but think about what happened at the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester- Let family/friends/significant other  know around what time you expect to leave the show. Text them updates about when you’re leaving.
  • Don’t drink too much, you are alone after all.
  • Charge your phone fully because you’ll almost definitely run dry and please, please invest in a portable charger. You’ll thank me later.
  • If you want to avoid the massive rush at the end, leave early, being surrounded by sweaty strangers is pretty gross. Also, know where the fire exits are because you never know.

Most importantly, trust your gut, prepare in advance, and have an amazing time, kid! It’s never as scary as you think it will be, you’ll leave feeling super empowered and it should remind you of why you love music in first place. And maybe you’ll be so inspired after the experience that you’ll feel the need to blog and tell other people about it. Or maybe, it’ll restore your tiny faith in humanity just a little bit, I know it helped with mine.

 

 

 

The importance of “Dear White People” and the struggle with self-indentity

An opinion piece on the Netflix series “Dear White People” told from a mixed race perspective.

“When the truth is suppressed, it doesn’t die; it goes underground”.

It has been quite some time since I’ve written a blog post, I find that my intentions with this site change every other month. Originally, it was just a safe space for me to talk about my life and adventures, then it became a platform for me to practice my music journalism by reviewing albums, but then somewhere along the way I lost track of all of that in an abundance of things, like my exams, internships, portfolio expanding, maintaining friendships, working etc. And as a result my self-esteem sort of plummeted, especially in a creative sense. But one thing that I like and, above all else, appreciate about this blog is that I’m free to express whatever I want, no judgement on how I deliver statements or no one to devalue my views and opinions, and nowadays I find that my work frequently intersects with issues of race, gender, sexuality, feminism, and progressive politics.

Nevertheless, everybody experiences things in a different way, it’s not always easy to get people to understand what you mean or for everyone to see eye-to -eye. We’re living in far more polarising, politically intense times where things almost go full circle to the point that we lose direction. Or that we’re all reciting the same lines to the point where every room becomes an echo chamber, and it’s getting cramped.

If I choose to one day have children, the only values I hope for them to have is to appreciate nature, to love themselves and their bodies, have gratitude and empathy towards others but most importantly, to keep an open mind towards things and people that they don’t understand. This should be just the basis, but unfortunately this isn’t a natural inclination for everybody.

As a young person I always felt that it was important that I cultivate these strengths within my own character so that I can lead by example, not words. To be open to a new era of political correctness and changing sexual politics. You can call it whatever you want, whether it be “a liberal” or a “social justice warrior”, or the current favourite insult, a “snowflake” *cringes* however, these are the values I live by. Though it hasn’t always been this way.

Growing up in a predominantly white area in the UK (no, seriously the population of minorities is 2.2% in my area and that’s all the minority races in total) I never realised how oblivious I was to a lot of things, or how oblivious others were. Every comment that was made about my appearance and identity I mostly usually brushed off, especially because I was (unfortunately fortunate) enough to be light-skinned and borderline considered “White passing”. Yet still had the features of a Black person. So all my life I’ve been, what can be considered as ‘lucky’ in a way that not being ‘black’ enough came to my advantage, but in the least rewarding way. It’s as complex as it is problematic.

And that’s where my fascination with “Dear White People” came in, I immediately recognised the protagonist, played by Logan Browning, from Bratz: The Movie in 2007. My initial thoughts were “Oh god, please don’t let another mixed race girl not acknowledge her biracial heritage” I know, to some of you this may sound ghastly. But Zendaya in Disney Channel’s Shake It Up had two Black parents, and growing up I found this quite damaging, because it made it seem like multiculturalism couldn’t and shouldn’t exist, like we’re experiments and not the real thing, as if you had to be either one or the other. A “watered down” version of the original. So watching a show that finally addresses the struggles of a biracial individual and the war with their self-identification was refreshing to say the least, as well as reflecting the real internal struggle of figuring out who you are in this world.

Gail Lukasik’s novel ‘White Like Her‘ is a prime example of the struggle with self-identifying, she explains how her mother pretended to be White throughout her entire life and by doing this, she received a lot more privileges socially and economically, because she was “passing”. The saddest part, is that it all has to even matter in the first place. It’s funny how race is apparent on sight, isn’t it?

Yet racism hasn’t always been black and white. White supremacists, for example, used to hate Irish and Italians at the turn of the century. They weren’t considered white. But once people realised that there were a huge amount of them, they needed to include them for power’s sake and they did. Race is almost a concept, but in which involves real and damaging effects.

I kind of understand why people are interested in people like myself who are racially ambiguous. Race, however flawed the concept, is used as a tool for understanding people. Personally, I’m curious about other people’s racial backgrounds too and as human beings we are always searching for ways to identify, and factors like skin tone serve as physical reminders of our ancestry and racial heritage.

BUUUUUT, there are appropriate ways to talk to someone about their background and then there are ways to sound like, for lack of better words, an ignorant dickhead. And a lot of what I went through before was never worth compromising myself and who I am just to have a couple of friends, I’d go through the countless eye rolls and the tone deaf “You’re not even Black so you have no right to be offended!” statements just to get people to finally understand me on some level.

Since recently visiting an old friend from school that I had contrasting views with, the daunting realisation that I’m forever going to have to explain and justify my existence hit me like a bus. It was a heart-breaking epitome, racism is a lot more than “being mean” to someone because of their race. They’re a whole load of stages in White supremacy before being considered an extremist and with the case of my close friend from school, it was past indifference and minimisation, you know, “We all belong to the human race!” and the use of phrases like “post-racial society” and the casual White saviour complex followed by the denial of White privilege, plus never forgetting the constant false equivocation. Classic.

Yet the movie/television show “Dear White People” was enough in its title because it caused a bellicose, erupting reaction. Even Antoinette Robertson who played ‘white whisperer’ Coco Conners stated in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar that the name and podcasts ‘alienated’ White people. The like/dislike ratio on the YouTube official trailer was almost equal and the comments were all too familiar “What if there was a show called ‘Dear Black People??? There would be a war!”

Sigh. In explanation of that; first of all, the intent with the show was to generally raise more awareness with racial sensitivity i.e not doing black face and other blatantly racist hate crimes. Whereas a show directed towards minorities is always done with malicious intentions and is poorly informed i.e. everything Nicole Arbour has posted, ever.

Back to the show; each episode in the second season, save for the last, focuses on the experiences of one character, nose-diving viewers into the realities and trepidation’s of what it means to be black, or not black, or not black enough. Although the creator recognises that the show quantifies this problem through blackness, he thinks it’s a systemic result of the human condition.

In an ideal world, Dear White People would be better received. It encourages people to call out ignorance when they see it while educating individuals without chastising them, and holding both sides accountable. It deserves to have its watercooler moment because it encourages the discussions and bring issues to the surface that we really need to be having during these increasingly divisive times.

As journalist Wesley Morris of The New York Times pointed out in a podcast, change is happening in the Western world; “It’s just happening in dog years”.